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Do you blame others for your Emotional Pain? – Part 2

Coping with Pain

If you break your leg while playing football, years later when you watch a football game, the pain won’t resurface. But if your loved one rejected you, and it rained heavily that day, then a downpour on another day could fill your mind with the same memories – emotional pain echoes through a longer period. With poor self-care habits, even a minor issue could niggle over your mind for months, and a slight provocation could cause havoc inside of you.

When someone hates you and judges your intentions wrongly, the hurt could be worse than the pain of broken limbs. If you fall on a slippery path, even strangers may rush to care for you, but if you were taunted or humiliated by your boss, even your best friends might not realize what you are going through. People may empathize with your physical suffering, but hardly anyone knows your emotional struggles.

We often hear of someone who committed suicide because of his or her inability to cope with rejection by their lover. What does this prove? Emotional trauma is more intense than physical suffering. While medicines could remove or at least camouflage the bodily pain, emotional wounds could increase with time, and hence they require a different approach.

Since the triggers and association of emotional pain are many, the least we can do is stop accusing others for our misery. Instead, let’s choose more humane and sensitive care for our inner world.

Playing the mistaken blame-game

The common mistake most people commit when emotionally troubled: hover on extremes- hold others guilty or indulge in self-pity. We lose the ability to see the suffering for what it is objectively. Blame ensures we look for external reasons for our frustrations and thereby stay disconnected from our true self that is pure and blameless. Even if you convince another person that he is the cause of your suffering, can you change your unhappy state within? Sadly, most people are caught playing the terrible blame-game with no winners. It’s when you pull up your socks you stand a chance to transform a miserable state to a more peaceful existence.

To be continued…

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