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Compromise v/s Commitment – The art of a relationship

“There is greatness in doing something you hate for the sake of someone you love.”

–         Shumley Boteach (Author and Jewish Rabbi)

A friend argued that for people to have a long term marriage relationship based on love and service, compromise is inevitable. I silently concurred, and then he exclaimed, “Actually compromise is the basis of married relationship”. I humbly disagreed; I said commitment is the basis of a relationship, and when there is a deep dedication to each other, then compromise is one of the forms that the relationship takes. But the foundation is devotion and responsibility. Sometimes people wait for many years to find the ideal mate; a soul mate who’s just made for you! But if you are frustrated waiting, there’s another way of doing it: Take a chance with someone and with the art of duty and commitment become soul mates, which actually would take a life time to perfect.

Another friend once asked me a provocative question: If married couples are committed to a spiritual life of Krishna consciousness would there be place for romance in their relationship. I answered what His Holiness Kadamba Kanana Swami said in one class, “You can look into the eyes of your spouse and say, ‘Darling, you are the most wonderful person in the world after Krishna; honey I love you!’ Krishna is the third person in your romantic life that makes your relationship complete”

Often in the name of deep spiritual practises we become hard hearted to our partners, and deny ourselves emotional fulfilment and basic human affection. Some live on extremes; they either get worked up on their relationship or become indifferent. The real art of keeping the fire in your relationship burning is to know when to go away and when to get closer. To let the other person blossom, and live his or her life is as important as your need for love and affection from her.

The point is: let’s get normal and add Krishna into our lives happily!

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