If you don’t identify what you want, how will you ever attain it and why does it matter to anyone at all? You are merely a victim of your unconscious state.
We assume wrongly that others are responsible for our grief, and it only gets worse with time- the world outside of me is guilty of the woes of my inner world! Our minds may convince us that others hate us. Ralph Waldo Emerson said aptly, “If I have lost confidence in myself, I have the universe against me.”
However, if you stop dead, improve wakefulness and express your needs honestly, you may be in for a big surprise. Most humans are reasonable and carry goodness within them, and they may immediately help you achieve your needs. But that’s likely to happen only if you first grasp what you want.
To expect others to understand your necessities without your expressing it to them is universal human frailty. Ironically, we don’t get the hang of what we want and are upset that others don’t love us. The eminent psychologist Abraham Maslow, famous for his ‘hierarchy of needs,’ said, “What is necessary for a person to change is to change his awareness of himself.”
I sometimes pen down an article for five hours at a stretch and think I have completed a well-done job. My mind feels it’s a perfect piece and I can find no flaws anymore. That’s when I take a break from that part and write something else. When I revisit the essay a few days later, I discover gaps and mistakes that missed me completely the last time. What happened? The recess improved my vision for sure!
The Srimad Bhagavatam reveals the plight of a miserly man who exploited many and made millions. One day fortune swung against his way, and his losses multiplied, and his family deserted him. Alone and miserable, he spent time reflecting and his heart was filled with a liberating realization: ‘No one is responsible for my misery; my mind is alone the cause of my suffering.’ As he took responsibility for his life situations, he found peace within himself.
Therefore the first principle of success and happiness: know yourself. Remember self-care comes before selfless service. And to recognize self-care codes, merely pause and connect!