Following is an excerpt from the lecture on Srimad Bhagavatam, Canto 10, Chapter 8, Verse 33 – 34 – Vraja Bihari Das where we details discussion on how anxiety helps us to grow.
Srimad Bhagavatam, Canto 10, Chapter 8, Verse 33 – 34
Upon hearing this from Krishna’s playmates, mother Yasoda, who was always full of anxiety over Krishna’s welfare, picked Krishna up with her hands to look into His mouth and chastise Him. Her eyes fearful, she spoke to her son as follows.
Dear Krishna, why are You so restless that You have eaten dirt in a solitary place? This complaint has been lodged against You by all Your playmates, including Your elder brother, Balarama. How is this?
Mother Yasoda was agitated by Krishna’s restless misbehavior. Her house was full of sweetmeats. Why then should the restless boy eat dirt in a solitary place? Krishna replied, “My dear mother, they have plotted together and lodged a complaint against Me so that you will punish Me. My elder brother, Balarama, has joined them. Actually, I have not done this. Take My words as true. Do not be angry and chastise Me.”
This section is the starting part of the pastime, where Krishna show mother Yashoda his universal form. Now, we see here, that Mother Yoshoda is in Anxiety, however one may not know, she is in the ecstasy of Anxiety and Worry for Baby Krishna. Generally, spiritual life is considered a life of complete peace, however, through these kind of pastimes, we can find that Krishna Consciousness is dynamic, where we see Mother Yashoda and all brijwasis goes through various emotions from anxiety and fear to joy and celebration. The point that needs to be understood that all of these emotion are in connection with Krishna, all these emotion turn spiritual, ultimately giving joy to the heart.
Once Sirla Prabhupada was asked “How to become Krishna Consciousness”
He said, “You need to have a Desire”
After few days, somebody asked the same question,
and he replied, “You need to have Eagerness”
And later somebody asked the same question,
he answered, “You need to have anxiety”
Here is how we look at this, to become Krishna Consciousness, one has to start with having the desire to become Krishna Consciousness. Then one has to have eagerness to advance in Krishna Consciousness. And that eagerness get ripened when one purchase Anxiety in service towards Krishna and has the ability to give ultimate joy to oneself. Mother Yashoda was in the same kind of anxiety.
Now, it is said that every human being gets around more that 32000 desires every 24 hours, and in the midst of these desires, the desire for Krishna Consciousness is just one small desire. Hence, one has to take intentional responsibility to nurture our desire to become Krishna Consciousness, have eagerness and hence having anxiety towards serving Krishna would help toward keeping oneself advancing in Krishna Consciousness…
When the construction of Sri Sri Radha Rasbhihari Temple at Juhu, Mumbai was going on, some problem raised towards the ownership of the land where the temple was being built and Sirla Prabhupada was fighting for the Land. Now, for a mundane person, it looked like Srila Prabhupada was driven by material motives. And even devotees got bewildered on why Srila Prabhupada was fighting for this land. Satswarupa Maharaj, disciple of Srila Prabhupada, gave a purport about it that Srila Prabhupada had promised Sri Sri Radha Rasbhihariji, that he will build a temple here for them to stay there, and Srila Prabhupada was just fulfilling his promise to the Lordship. Srila Prabhupada just behaved in the same protective manner how Nanda Maharaj and Mother Yashoda would be protective for Krishna, while they were in anxiety.
Similarly, there is another incident which we share extensively here. In June 1975, a team of devotees lead under the supervision of Rameshwar Swami who usually published 1 book in 4 month and they created an effective plan to publish 1 book in two month. Srila Prabhupada ordered them to published all books which include the 17 cantos, in 2 months. Rameshward Swami and his team literally decided to throw away all material calculation and material logic, they decided they need to just have faith on Krishna, started their marathon mission for completing this task. Different devotees with different caliber, who can serve in this mission, were called, managed and everyone complimented each other and completed all their work in one conjunction in such manner that all books were published during that time. The thing to be noted here, they all were in anxiety, but they all worked and stood to accomplished their promise to their spiritual master which gave them fulfillment.
Anxiety is often misunderstood and most of the people don’t want it and mostly would try to avoid it. However, when one goes through the phase of anxiety, while being responsible towards our spiritual life, in one mind and actions, it would give nothing but advancement. Now, being responsible during anxiety towards once commitment, one can achieve advancement even in this material world.