I resolved to spend at least ten minutes with Krishna. My mind, as usual raced through myriad topics, and screamed and tried it’s best to pull me away. Still I sat through the session, silently tolerating my mind’s restlessness. Even If I am emotionally unable to connect to Krishna, at least I have taken the first step to bridge the physical gap from Him.
Krishna is here, in the altar, and at least I am spending ten minutes with Him; this is a hopeful sign of my sincere attempt to connect to Him. As I sit forcefully though, I can see how my mind has completely trapped me. I’ve been a helpless victim. But today I see hope; as I sat for these few minutes, I did intermittently beg Krishna to forgive me, and take pity on my fallen condition. Those brief moments of prayer, although fleeting in ‘attention’, did fill me with joy.
I hope and pray that one day soon I reach a stage where I’d be ‘present’ with Krishna throughout the prayer session, and if at all I am distracted, let it be for a fleeting moment only. Right now it’s the reverse situation, yet I am confident that if I keep up the daily practise, I can surely be more ‘present’ and devotional during the prayer sessions.
Thank you Krishna, for allowing me to spend time with You today. Thank You for tolerating my silly presence, but what to do, I am helpless. This is the best I can offer You at this stage of my spiritual life. Hopefully, soon, by Your mercy, I’ll offer my heart and whole existence to You in full surrender.