“I am good but not an angel. I do sin but I am not the devil. I am just a small girl in a big world trying to find someone to love.”
– Marilyn Monroe (popular American actress and sex-symbol of the 1950’s)
The problem solving techniques for our inner world are different from what we do on the external front.
If someone dumps a pile of dirt outside your house, you could get rid of it fast and easy. But if you are trying to wrestle out an undesirable thought or painful feelings from your mind, you’ll notice that the more you try to get rid of it, the more it stays stuck. It would, in all probability get worse. That’s because as Yoko Ono, the popular Japanese film maker and singer, once said, “You may think I am small, but I have a universe inside my mind.”
Acceptance rids the negative spiral
The way out of inner pain is different from what you’d do if the dirt was outside your house.
The mind works best on the principle of Acceptance. If while walking on the street you slip and fall on the ground, what will you do? You’d likely rise almost instantly and continue walking. But if your mind slips to thoughts that betray your own values or desires, how quickly could you move on in life without being affected? Most people try the same technique that they would if they physically slipped. They rise and try to walk around as if nothing had happened. But the mind’s operating system is different. Instead of living in denial, we need to pause, accept what has happened (in this case – we ‘slipped’ into negative thoughts), and without judgement move forward.
Let’s say you have an undesirable habit that you’d like to overcome. To improve your situation, you need to first accept yourself and your present situation. If you come to terms with your bad habits, you can overcome them.
They may sound confusing because we assume that to overcome undesirable habits, we should dislike them. But the more we hate or fear any aspect of ourselves, the more it hangs on in our consciousness. As the saying goes: ‘what you resist, persists’
To be continued…