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The two foundations of Trust –part 1

“Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near”

  • Helen Rowland (1875-1950), American journalist and humourist

The ball was high in the air. Ajit ran underneath, looked skyward, cupped his palms, and waited for a simple catch. Anxious seconds followed. The catch meant his team would win the match. Ajit was one of the most gifted cricket players in the state, and notwithstanding a recent bout of poor performances, he showed glimpses of his extraordinary talent.

Dropped! As the crowd and players stood stunned in disbelief, Ajit scrambled for the ball that rolled on the grass. Meanwhile the batsmen gleefully completed the run and celebrated a victory.

Ajit was not in the playing list for the next match.

“But he’s a better player than others in the team”, protested the manager. He was furious at the coach for keeping out a good player simply because he dropped a catch. “You can’t blame him for the defeat; the whole team played badly, and Ajit was as bad as the others.”

The coach’s clarification satisfied the manager. “While other players owned up for their shoddy game, and promised to perform better next time, Ajit alone is in denial. He’s offered plaintive excuses, nothing more. He claims he misjudged the catch because the scorching sunrays blinded him. I can’t trust him.”

Often it’s not our talent or mistakes, but our attitudes that makes people either trust or doubt us.

When someone you have known well shows low-trust in you, what’s your response? Do you instinctively whine at his or her pathetic judgment? This way you could hide your shortcomings behind your scathing verdict on his character. Or do you deliberate on your own attitude, and reflect what you could do to win back her trust? The former approach would do little to bridge the trust gap, while the latter could help you move forward in life.

Trust is indispensable for effective functioning of any family, organization or a community. When there is trust, we love; when we mistrust, we fear, seek control, play mind games, and fight over trifles. In a low trust environment, everything takes lot of time, and sucks precious energy. In a high trust scenario, things move fast.

For a team to achieve and sustain success, members need to do things whole-heartedly. And unswerving commitment comes only when we trust each other.

But how and when does the virtuous trust cycle begin?

To be continued…


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