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The two foundations of Trust –part 2

“Few delights can equal the mere presence of one whom we trust utterly”

  • George Macdonald (1824-1905), Scottish author and poet

There are two foundational principles in creating a high trust environment.

Principle 1: Becoming trustworthy

The first is becoming honorable ourselves. “Do I keep my word? Am I transparent and committed, or do I cut corners?”

Remember that trust is your most valuable wealth; it can take years to earn and just a matter of seconds to lose. Once you lose trust, it gets harder to win it back. It’s easier to compromise on principles, and it may appear difficult to maintain integrity. But nothing good comes easy. In the long run, being trustworthy pays rich dividends. If we have been mistrusted, often the person to be blamed is not difficult to find. Maybe, we need to honestly look in the mirror, and we’d painfully discover that one person who always deceives us.

Ajit went on to accuse the coach of favoritism and politics. Soon his performance fell below his own standards. He was ingloriously ousted from the team for good. Last he was seen canvassing against the team selectors. He was trapped in a vicious cycle of negativity. After an initial media interest in his accusations, he was soon ignored and forgotten.

Ajit’s example reveals that it’s our internal make-up that determines our success, and also how much others trust us.

If we are in Ajit’s situation and want to change now, then what do we do? Simple- a sincere apology and a more genuine action to show we meant our sorry. Many people assume that the other person would know ‘I am sorry’. Even if they know it, they’d expect you to sincerely apologize. Don’t allow a ‘sorry’ to let you sulk in the past; instead make ‘Sorry’ a platform for a better future. You could do this by announcing, “Henceforth I shall do….” Sorry means sincerely moving forward to improve trust.

Let’s say, you are convinced about your intentions and sincerity. Yet you are doubted. You now have a choice to either grumble about your fate or humbly ask questions. Repeatedly its seen men and women assume what could have led others to say or do things against them. And time and again they are wrong. Much energy could be saved if we simply ask for feedback, or upfront ask why certain decisions were taken. Some people imagine it’s not going to work. Or they think they are not being humble if they ask questions. But is it humility to speculate and throw serious aspersions on others’ character? Better honestly and humbly confront, rather than allow a venomous cycle of cynicism to trap you.

To be continued…

 

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