Another friend confided in me that whenever he felt low and sad, he eagerly anticipated his Sunday visits to the temple. He imagined himself entering the peaceful ambiance of the temple, associating with other monks and congregation members, and finding shelter. This thought provided him the strength to immerse himself in his struggle-filled life. However, he admitted that when he actually visited the temple, he felt restless. I suggested that perhaps he was addicted to living in the ‘gap’—constantly planning for the following week and unable to be happy in the present moment. He needed to discover ‘peace’ in his workplace and at home as well. Only then would he fully appreciate the spiritual energy present within the temple atmosphere. Otherwise, he would persistently struggle, remain agitated, and pursue an imaginary state of happiness. He needed to release the struggle and accept the present.
Our inability to accept our current circumstances and view them as complete constantly agitates us. We mistakenly equate happiness with sensory stimulation. Therefore, when we are not excited, we assume we are unhappy and conclude that something is wrong with our lives. And so, to rectify the perceived wrong, we continue to struggle.
The Happiness obsessed generation
Russ Harris, the author of ‘The Happiness Trap,’ argues that we are a generation obsessed with happiness, believing that it is our inherent right to be happy at all times. However, the reality of the human psyche paints a different picture. Happiness is not something we can always control; it is a gift we receive. Until about a century ago, various cultures viewed happiness as divinely ordained, with our responsibility being to fulfill our duties well. Life was centered around purpose, and whether happiness accompanied it or not was uncertain.
In contrast to the past, today’s mind set is centred around an insistent pursuit of happiness. We are willing to go to great lengths to achieve this elusive state of mind, even resorting to creating purpose statements. Interestingly, our grandparents never had such formal declarations, yet their lives seamlessly aligned with the universal principles of “be good” and “do well to others.” They found contentment and possessed the ability to gracefully and gratefully endure life’s extremes, such as adverse weather, deaths, losses, and more. However, our generation, despite having numerous conveniences, lacks the same level of tolerance. When we find ourselves unhappy, we often jump to the conclusion that something must be wrong with us.
A recent incident made me reflect on this issue. I was sitting on a bench in a garden when a friend approached me, asking if I could attend a meeting later that evening. I honestly replied that I couldn’t because I was feeling a little sad about certain developments in my personal life, and I preferred to be alone for a few hours. He wanted to offer empathy, but I assured him that I was fine and that it wasn’t a severe situation. Perplexed, he asked how someone like me, a senior spiritual practitioner, couldn’t be happy all the time. I responded by saying, “Well, I am a human being first, and it’s okay to feel sad. I will be alright tomorrow morning.”
To be continued…
