Ways to forgive yourself The first step is to recognize that guilt is good; it’s often a catalyst for positive change. Shame means you own up the mistake and there’s something to forgive. Also, it ensures we don’t justify bad behavior or get brazen. The most valuable gain from feelings of remorse is it helps…

We all go through painful, embarrassing and humbling situations in life. Only a few can learn lessons and move on with gratitude. Many, however, carry the trauma for decades and die without making peace with themselves. Does religion offer a panacea? Are God worshippers automatically peaceful? Not really! Little do we realize that it’s our…

“Beware of the man who does not return your blow: he neither forgives you nor allows you to forgive yourself.” – George Bernard Shaw (a famous Irish playwright of the twentieth century and a Nobel Laureate) “I hate myself,” said Ramesh, to which I replied, “I love myself.” My response was rhetorical; I wanted to…

The remedy The cure is simple but not easy to practice: respect others and serve them. Reverence is the most potent antidote to envy and service is best offered through sharing Prasad-sanctified food- with others. In traditional Indian communities, serving food and celebrating festivals where others are honored, is an everyday affair. Our ancestors knew…

It’s crazy- imagine you fire bullets at another person and wound yourself. That’s what bitterness does to you! And you don’t realize this simple truth, when, as a mute spectator, you allow the disease to spread to the next level. Daksha despised Lord Shiva and hurled insults at him. This led to a fratricidal conflict…

Stage 2: Upeksha – ‘I can’t stand him.’ When the first phase is unchecked, we live in duality- we separate men and women as either friends or enemies. Envy, then manifests as ‘Upeksha’- ‘I can’t stand him’ and we walk the other way when he comes in front of us. The danger of pride is…

“To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girlfriends.” –    Benjamin Franklin (author, humorist, scientist, politician- a polymath, and one of the founders of the U.S.A) Are you a bee or a fly? The difference between the two is this: a bee extracts honey from the flowers whereas a fly may pass through your…

“Right actions in the future are the best apologies for actions in the past.” –         Tryon Edwards (19th century American Theologian, best known for his book of quotes, ‘A dictionary of thoughts’) I shouted at him because he didn’t add me in the communication loop, and I was upset. My anger exacerbated when even a week later,…

At other times you may struggle in your job and relationships, and feel anger for no reason. Worse, a series of unpleasant experiences could even make you cynical to the reality of sensitive dealings. In either situation, remember and practice the four guidelines. A lesson from the Ramayana Thousands of monkey soldiers helped Lord Rama…

“Parrots mimic their owners. Their owners consider that a sign of intelligence.” –    Marty Rubin (Canadian born author of ‘The boiled frog syndrome’) I saw a new member of the ashram nibble away his lunch silently, from a bowl that contained a palmful of rice and dal. He didn’t take second helpings either. Concerned, I asked…

If I identify myself as a successful businessman, my mind has happy thoughts when I earn well. But if I were to get bankrupt, then distress will engulf my consciousness. However when fixed in the identity of being a soul that’s different from the mind and body, and when fixed in viewing the soul as…

If the desire to service goads us on, we live beyond the painful dualities of the mind – hankering and lamentation, happiness and distress, or desire and hate. Thus uninhibited by such thoughts, we live our lives in the realm of our true identity. Your finger is part of the body; if you were to…