“Invisible threads are the strongest ties.”
– Friedrich Nietzche (German philosopher of the nineteenth century)
A friend who cooked, cleaned the kitchen, and worked for his folks, once said to me, “I feel irritable, restless, angry, lonely, confused all at the same time.”
I replied, “You need to connect to yourself.”
“Yes,” he exclaimed loudly. “But the worst part is I serve tirelessly. I hardly take a break and often give myself totally, to help others.”
Even as I sensed his confusion, he muttered, “I thought if we serve others, we’d always feel ecstatic. But I now realize I need to spend time bonding with myself as well.”
A train runs on two tracks. A happy life also has Connection and Contribution as two equally important aspects. Some people create an internal illusion of ‘service for other’s welfare’ when they actually should be taking care of their mind and body. Of course, helping others is a divine virtue, but it goes go hand in hand with self-care, and you can’t substitute personal care with kindness to others.
Defining Connection and Contribution
Connect means to feel loved, peaceful, or in balance and harmony with one’s self. When you link to your vision and map your values to the right principles, you are connected.
Note: it’s different from the pleasure of devouring your favorite chocolate or watching your adored team win a match. A meaningful relationship with self has more to it than the delight of bodily senses or the titillation of the mind.
A more profound sense of satisfaction exudes when you connect. It’s not the typical adrenaline rush or a dopamine kick; instead, it’s more to do with feeling valued and worthy (Serotonin and Oxytocin types)
Contribution, on the other hand, refers to help someone else feel noble and happy. It’s what you give back in the form of service to the world outside of you.
It’s true that often helping others would automatically help us feel connected. But if prolonged melancholy appears to swallow your existence despite you doing a lot of things for others, it’s time you pause and re-examine your vision and values.
To be continued….
