Why Scriptural Study Protects Both Our Family and Our Devotion
“It is better to engage in one’s own occupation, even though one may perform it imperfectly, than to accept another’s occupation and perform it perfectly. Duties prescribed according to one’s nature are never affected by sinful reactions.”
– Bhagavad Gita (18.47)
Not long ago, a young man, relatively new to ISKCON culture, shared something with me. He had just gotten married, yet he was inspired to spend more and more time in the temple. Not only that, he encouraged his wife also to increase her temple services. Curious, I asked him what moved him so strongly in this direction.
With shining eyes, he told me that Krishna conscious scriptures had filled him with inspiration because they describe the highest goal of spirituality. To prove his point, he quoted one of the most exalted verses where Srimati Radha Rani declares her attachment to Krishna:
“Let Kṛṣṇa tightly embrace this maidservant who has fallen at His lotus feet, or let Him trample me or break my heart by never being visible to me. He is a debauchee, after all, and can do whatever He likes, but still, He alone, and no one else, is the worshipable Lord of my heart.”
(Śrī Caitanya-caritāmṛta, Antya-līlā 20.47)
His reasoning was simple and sincere: “The scriptures teach us that the highest devotion means everything for Krishna and nothing for myself. That’s why I want to give more time to the temple.”
While I admired his zeal, I gently reasoned with him that Krishna would be even more pleased if he first practiced Krishna consciousness sincerely at home, and then offered service in the temple.
That conversation stirred me deeply, and it led me to write the following reflection — my journal entry on “Why Scriptural Study Protects Both Our Family and Our Devotion.”
The verse this gentleman quoted represents the pinnacle of spiritual realization—complete surrender where the devotee desires nothing but to serve Krishna’s pleasure, regardless of personal circumstances.
This is the highest point of surrender. But if we look at ourselves honestly, we are far from this. Most of us pray to Krishna for small reliefs — to pass an exam, to heal a knee pain, or to remove difficulties so we can be “happy.”
The journey from our present condition to this exalted state requires something most of us are avoiding: sincere, sustained study of scriptures combined with honest self-reflection.
But more importantly, it demands that we begin this transformation where it matters most—in our homes, with our families.
The Dangerous Misunderstanding of Suffering
Too often, devotees reading about Radha Rani’s willingness to suffer endlessly for Krishna’s happiness conclude that they must neglect their family or worse, deliberately sabotage their own lives to prove their devotion. This fundamental misinterpretation has wreaked havoc in countless families.
We’ve all witnessed the tragic pattern: a devotee begins neglecting children and spouse in the name of “higher service” at the temple. When children grow resentful toward Krishna, when marriages strain to the breaking point, when family relationships crumble, the devotee declares with misplaced pride, “This is Krishna’s special mercy! He’s testing my devotion!”
They quote Srila Prabhupada’s reference to the verse: “yasyāham anugṛhnāmi hariṣye tad-dhanaṁ śanaiḥ”—“When I am especially merciful, I take away everything” – imagining themselves as recipients of this divine intervention.
But this is spiritual delusion masquerading as surrender.
Most of our suffering isn’t Krishna’s special mercy—it’s the natural consequence of our irresponsibility. We foolishly imagined that neglecting family for temple equals devotion.
The Perversion of Scripture Study
When we study the gopis’ love for Krishna without proper understanding, we often reach dangerous conclusions. We think: “To be pure devotees like the gopis, I must suffer. Therefore, I should create suffering in my life to prove my devotion.”
This completely misses the point. The gopis didn’t seek suffering—they sought Krishna. Their apparent sacrifices weren’t artificial impositions but natural expressions of their overwhelming love. They weren’t trying to suffer; they were loving Krishna with every fibre of their being.
True devotion never asks us to be foolish. The scriptures reveal the highest love of the gopīs, not so we can imitate them, but so we can humbly aspire, in our present circumstances, to gradually purify our hearts.
Family Life: A Sacred Classroom
If we are householders, the best place to begin is at home. Study and discuss Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam with your spouse and children. Even fifteen minutes a day can transform the atmosphere. Your home becomes spiritualized, your relationships nourished, and your family life stabilized.
This simple practice spiritualizes relationships at their core. When couples engage with Krishna’s pastimes together, when they wrestle with philosophical questions as a team, when they support each other’s spiritual understanding, their bond becomes infused with transcendental purpose.
Here’s the uncomfortable truth: it’s easier to respect visiting sadhus than our own family members. It’s simpler to hear Krishna consciousness from renowned speakers than from our spouse or children. But real spiritual advancement happens when we learn to see Krishna consciousness in those closest to us and create sacred space within our most intimate relationships.
The Temple-Home Imbalance
Too often we pour our energy into the temple while leaving the home untended. The temple may grow, but family tensions silently mount. The result is painful: sometimes the temple’s strength seems directly proportional to the weakness in its members’ homes. Devotees flee domestic friction by increasing temple service, feeling spiritually accomplished while their homes deteriorate.
The temple leadership celebrates the increased service, the devotee feels validated by external appreciation, but the fundamental problems remain unaddressed. Meanwhile, family members develop resentment toward both Krishna and the temple, creating long-term damage to the devotee’s spiritual foundation.
This isn’t sustainable spiritual growth—it’s spiritual escapism that eventually backfires in devastating ways.
The backfire is inevitable and brutal. First, the neglected family members—especially children—begin associating Krishna consciousness with abandonment and hypocrisy. They see a parent who speaks about love and compassion at the temple but shows neither at home. The very people who should become Krishna’s devotees through family influence instead develop deep resentment toward spiritual life.
Second, the devotee’s own spiritual foundation crumbles. Krishna consciousness practiced without investments in personal relationships becomes hollow ritualism. How can someone claim to love Krishna while consistently hurting those Krishna has placed in their care? The contradiction creates internal spiritual bankruptcy.
Third, the temple community itself suffers. When families break apart, the temple inherits broken people bringing their unresolved conflicts, resentments, and emotional baggage into the spiritual environment. Children who should have grown up as natural devotees instead become obstacles to temple growth, sometimes actively working against Krishna consciousness.
Finally, the escapist devotee faces a crushing realization: all the temple service in the world cannot substitute for the character development that comes from learning to love difficult people in difficult circumstances. The very qualities needed for advanced devotion—patience, compassion, selflessness, genuine care—are best developed in the laboratory of family life, not in the comfort zone of temple service where everyone already shares your values.
The devotee eventually discovers that running to the temple was actually running away from Krishna, who appears in the form of family and the opportunity to practice real love in challenging situations.
The Path of Honest Transformation
True devotion to Krishna doesn’t require artificial suffering or neglect of responsibilities. It requires honest engagement with our current situation while gradually elevating our consciousness through consistent spiritual practice.
Instead of imitating the gopis’ external circumstances, we should aspire to their internal devotion—the complete offering of the heart to Krishna. This happens through sincere study, honest self-reflection, and the gradual purification of our desires.
When we study scriptures with our families, we create the foundation for authentic spiritual growth. We learn to see challenges as opportunities for deeper surrender rather than excuses for neglect. We develop the wisdom to distinguish between genuine renunciation and irresponsible abandonment.
The Foundation Before the Summit
Before we can authentically pray “You can do whatever You like with me,” we must first learn to offer what we have now—our attention, our care for family members, our honest engagement with our current responsibilities—to Krishna’s service. The path to the highest devotion doesn’t bypass our present circumstances; it transforms them.
Only then can our aspiration for complete surrender be authentic rather than sentimental, grounded in wisdom rather than wishful thinking.
The goal may be sublime, but the path begins exactly where we are—at home, with scripture in hand, ready to do the hard work of honest transformation.
“Dharma, artha and kama are all possible only for the householder. The householder alone sustains the world.”
– Mahabharata (Shanti Parva, 60.7)
