“If anyone tells you that a certain person speaks ill of you, do not make excuses about what is said of you but answer, “He was ignorant of my other faults, else he would not have mentioned these alone”
– Epictetus (AD 55 -135), Greek philosopher
Humility makes the heart soft, and that’s when the seed of love grows luxuriantly. Therefore wise sages since a long time have emphasized that to the extent we strive for humility, the Lord helps us
“To those who are constantly devoted to serving Me with love, I give the understanding by which they can come to Me” (Bhagavad Gita- 10.10)
God, being our ever well-wisher puts us in situations where we have a choice of practicing humility. In this world we often face a provoking situation where someone points us our defects or shortcomings. How we respond internally to that determines our humility.
A neophyte protests; he thinks the one pointing out his faults is prejudiced. His ego blinds him to his faults, and when the Lord kindly arranges for others to reveal them, he gets disturbed. On the other hand, an advanced devotee may also get upset when humiliated, but he makes the right choice.
A mature person would see the provocation positively. He’s desperate to come closer to the Lord and is ever alert to know what is keeping him far away from developing a meaningful relationship with God. Any suggestion or correction he faces immediately is weighed in the context of this ambition. That means no personal insult can ever be severe enough.
For example one of my friends, a celibate monk, was travelling by the Mumbai trains one night and was rounded up by a gang of thugs. They cracked ribald jokes at his expense, and even pulled the puff of hair that hung from the behind of his shaved head. It was painful to his ego, his self-respect was attacked. He cried in pain, and was faced with a choice; either he could sulk more and feel agonized or choose humility. He chose the latter. How?
He quietly considered what would please his beloved Lord Krishna. He reasoned that he had been receiving a lot of adoration over the years for his ability to preach the message of Bhagavad Gita. He had many fans and hundreds respected him. This humiliation was needed to digest all that respect- most of which was undeserving- that was coming his way in life. As soon as he saw the incident in this light, he felt a sense of relief, and soon forgiveness was easy. When he forgave those men, he also felt loved by Krishna. His dear Lord had tested him, and he felt he had pleased Krishna by forgiving the unruly men on the train. Later he also saw their behavior as circumstantial; he could separate them from their actions.
It’s important to note that humility is not weakness; my friend would have flared up and confronted the group if they had attacked an innocent person. That’s because again Krishna would have approved rendering service and help to a helpless person.
Often when we are appreciated we get proud, and when criticized, depressed. Both are signs of a puffed up false ego. To please God means to choose humility and to practice humility means if we are appreciated, we immediately invoke gratitude; we thank the praise giver and the Lord for empowering us to please others. And if we are criticized, we recognize our fallible nature, and our helpless condition.
Others behavior cannot upset a truly humble person because he would never think of himself as better than them. He may know he’s more fortunate but never better. The former President of India Abdul Kalam exemplified this attitude.
Once, Dr. Kalam was the chief guest at IIT Varanasi for a convocation ceremony. The organizers had arranged five chairs on stage for all the dignitaries, the center one for Dr. Kalam. As he came on stage, he noticed his chair was bigger than the others; instinctively he refused to sit on it, and offered the chair to the Vice Chancellor instead. He too obviously refused, and quickly another chair that was equal in size to the others was arranged for the President of the country.
Like Dr. Kalam, if it’s natural for you to think of others as deserving respect, humility would also be natural to you; you’d be endearing to one and all.
Unfortunately for most of us the universe arranges humiliation before we voluntarily choose humility. But it’s never too late is it?
